You maybe looking in the mirror right now reading this thinking back to the days that you were thin. Pre-children you were in YOUR PRIME, right? You could wear those cute little cut offs and crop tops and rock the shit out of a skimpy body con dress. I was never with out a big ol booty, which I used to HATE! My calves were the size of men’s biceps and I felt like my boobs could always be bigger–but man, I was a size 2 and I didn’t realize I was living the dream! (INSERT massive sarcasm)
Maybe you are not looking in the mirror but you have someone looking at you; your spouse or significant other. Maybe they are making mention of your weight or they are spending a little extra time glancing at a computer screen… Maybe you have heart wrenching pain from a confessional you read while snooping through text messages they sent on a drunken stooper to an ex about how much they miss them–and she is thin. What ever psychological weight twilight zone you are in right now please do me a favor, stop, for just a moment.
This was me above, all of the above. I have spoke before about it so I will briefly speak about it now. I have always yo-yo’d with my weight. I was thin, fat, thin, fat and now fatter. I have been on insanely terrible diet pills that gave me heart palpitations, doing 2 a day work outs, eating like a bird and so incredibly unhappy but man, I could say I was thin- so why wasn’t I happy?
Here’s the thing; I can’t tell you how to be happy, I can’t tell you how to heal your pain but I can tell you that remaining mentally in a depressive state will NEVER get you to a goal. Why are you depressed about your weight? Why are you hiding behind a one piece and cover up? Why are you not attempting to dive in to the pool with your children? Why are you not riding that bike, playing sports or enjoying the time that you are blessed with? If your answer is my weight- I need you to stop. The minute you start LIVING your life-weight and all is the minute your mindset will change, the depression will lift, the stress that releases cortisol (WHICH MAKES YOU HEAVY) will decrease and joy will enter your life.
You are blessed with so many hours in the day and we have no idea when those hours will end. Do you understand that? The time between birth and death is unknown. If you looked in the mirror can you say you are living your best life? Will your children remember you living your best life?
Here is my personal take; I am the fattest I have ever been but I am absolutely the happiest I have ever been and I am living my best life!
First, I have a supportive husband and I am eternally grateful for him. Second, I embrace I am fat and do my best to work out, walk, and stay healthy. Third and this is the most important—I give NO f*cks what anyone has to say about it anymore.
This fat girl just enjoyed the trip of a life time in the Florida Keys with her children! I put on that 2 piece, kayaked the hell out of the Ocean, swam, snorkeled, walked, went sight seeing, posed for PHOTOS (WHAAAAT) and all the while enjoyed my life! Skinny me would have never worn a 2 piece, like ever. Skinny me would have never taken a swim suit photo! Skinny me would have sat in a chair on the beach and never engaged with her kids for fear of being seen by others. Skinny me was boring.
The next question/comment I am going to hear is- am I an advocate for being fat? She is only saying this because she is fat now. No I am an advocate for being mentally healthy. I am advocate for being socially healthy. I am an advocate for active and beautiful memories for my kids. I am an advocate for a LIFE not limited to societal expectations of beauty. So, what ever that is for YOU personally fat, skinny, fit, or just in the middle of it all, just do what is personally healthy for YOU!
Here is a note for you men and I will keep this short: If you loved her just for her body you loved the wrong parts about her to begin with. You want a specific kind of women, be ready to be a specific kind of man too. You have a responsibility to her mental, and emotional health, what part are you playing?
Here is a note for you women who sit around and TALK about other women’s weight: what are you doing with your life? I bet year to year you’re in the same small minded place. Me- I am planning my anniversary trip with my husband somewhere tropical. I am planning a spiritual trip next year for my 35 birthday. I am making goals, closing chapters, opening new ones and LIVING. How sad to be so closed minded that the only thing you can do is look at a photo of someone and judge why they are heavier than they were last year. High school mean girls was over a long time ago for most of us reading this, bless your hearts.
Bottom line, start believing you are allowed at any age, at any size to live a happy life. Feel that, say it to yourself every day if you have to and you will see a significant change in your life. As for those who know me “personally” from those highlight reels on Facebook or knew me from how I “used to be” let me assure you; I still walk in to a room with a giant smile and own it like it is my own personal party-big girl or not 😉
Living my best life,